Remembering Our Troops at Christmas

I remember my Christmas in Vietnam in 1970:

Watching the Bob Hope Christmas show in Bien Hoa, playing cards on the firebase, drinking a lot of beer, looking at the stars and thinking about past Christmases, missing my family back home, recalling how hard my mom worked in the kitchen making cookies or a turkey dinner, listening to the far-off sound of artillery. I even watched a firefight in the darkness of the valley below - the good guys' tracers were red, the bad guys' tracers were green - the Christmas colors...

In Iraq, Afghanistan, and on lesser known battlefields throughout the world, our soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines are fighting the good fight so that we may enjoy our Christmas in peace. Take time to think of them, and ask God to protect them. To my military friends who are at war or serving stateside, thank you for your service on our behalf.

Thanks also to everyone who has supported America's warriors. I extend my best wishes for a Merry Christmas to all of the readers of "American Ranger" and to each of your families. May God continue to bless America.

Charles M. Grist
www.MyLastWar.com

A Holiday Party With Political Correctness Gone Wild

This hilarious email was sent to me by a retired soldier. Here is an example of political correctness in America's corporate world today:

* * * *

FROM: P.L., Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 1

RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

P.L.
Company memo

--------------------

FROM: P.L., Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 2

RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recogize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

P.L.
Company Memo

--------------------

FROM: P.L., Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 3

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

P.L
Company memo

--------------------

FROM: P.L., Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 4

RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

P.L.
Company Memo

--------------------

FROM: P.L., Human Resources Director

TO: All F------ Employees

DATE: October 5

RE: The F------ Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get you f------ salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f------ wierdos can kiss my a--. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die.

The Bitch from Hell!!!
Company Memo

--------------------

FROM: J.B., Acting Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 6

RE: P.L. and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing P.L. a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

J.B.
Company Memo

* * * *

Sound familiar to anyone out there? There must be scores of you with similar stories...

Charles M. Grist
www.MyLastWar.com

A Fellow Cop Retires

He's a private guy, so I'll just call him Gary. By the time I joined our police department, he had been there for ten years. He retires this week after thirty years on the job. Before he made the decision to become a law enforcement officer, he courageously served his country as a door gunner in Vietnam, one of the most dangerous jobs in the Army.

When you think of a cop, this is the guy. He's worked patrol, risked his life on a motorcycle as a traffic cop, hunted down burglars and car thieves as a street crimes officer, and solved murders, robberies and scores of other crimes as a detective. Only recently, Gary and a couple of our other officers apprehended a bank robber only a block from the bank, recovering the money, the gun, and making sure not one single innocent person was hurt.

Except for his first few years, he's been a cop at the same police department for his entire career. As he has watched the older officers retire, Gary has mentored the younger cops who followed them. He is respected by his peers, by the citizens he has served, and even by the bad guys he's put in jail.

We will all miss him. I will miss our breakfasts at McDonalds, we will all miss his sense of humor, and the department will never be the same after his departure. We've talked about the fact that one door may be closing, but another will open. There is no doubt he will continue to serve his family and his community in some important way.

Gary reminds me that my own retirement is not far behind. As it was for me in the Army, so shall it be for us old guys at the police department. It is time to turn it all over to the young lions - the new, energetic cops who have followed us into a challenging profession. I'm not ready to go yet, but it won't be that much longer for me either.

Over the years, I have taught soldiers one important thing. Throughout history, there has always been one segment of society who was willing to protect everyone else; one group of men and women willing to stand between the innocents of the world and those who would hurt them. This part of society is the Warrior Class; the soldiers carry the weapons they must use against foreign enemies - the cops carry the guns that must sometimes be used against those who would hurt us here.

Gary has spent his life as a member of the Warrior Class. We should all be thankful for his service. I am grateful for his friendship and for his personal example of what a cop should be.

Godspeed, my friend...

Charles M. Grist
www.MyLastWar.com

A Gift Idea for Your Veteran: Give Them a Copy of "My Last War: A Vietnam Veteran's Tour in Iraq"

Here's a great gift idea for Christmas! Give your veteran or active duty service member a copy of my book!

If you still don't know what it's about, go to www.MyLastWar.com where you can get information and watch the book trailer.

Here are links to Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com where you can order the book. It is also available at other online retailers.

Thanks!

Charles M. Grist
www.MyLastWar.com